Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Pardon me while I change my panties, and have a moment to myself. My knees are still shaking. Oh God these cookies...These gloriously decadent, wonderfully wicked cookies.


This week's Tuesdays with Dorie (TWD) recipe was chosen by Claudia of Fool for Food. Claudia, there are no words to express my gratitude and undying love behind this recipe choice. They may not be the prettiest cookie, but they damn sure are the best. Dorie you may just get your name on my left ass cheek yet.

I swear I felt lightheaded, and had to hold on to my kitchen counter after the first bite for fear that my knees would buckle. These cookies seduce you so thoroughly that if they had a penis I would give them my butt cherry (if I hadn't already given it to someone else of course, but that is another story for another type of blog).

I must warn you though. This cookie is not for those of you who pussyfoot around chocolate. This cookie is for the hardcore chocolate slut like myself. If you are into cutesy, sweet cookies then run along honey. This shit right here is for the big girls. Now leave us to our business...

First and foremost I have no idea why Dorie is calling them cookies when they could very well be one of the best brownies I've ever had. So going forward I am calling them brownies; brownie pops actually because I put them on cute sticks to try to make up for the fact they are not the most aesthetically pleasing cookie I've ever seen. They have so much going on that I really didn't expect to like them. I'm a chocolate purist and I enjoy my chocolate desserts without all the bells and whistles of additional distractions such as chunks and nuts and fruit, but these bad boys sent me over the edge. I omitted the raisins (bleah), and added pecans and used mini M&M's and semi-sweet chocolate chips instead of white chocolate chips(white chocolate is such a cop out. Either you like chocolate or you don't. Technically white chocolate isn't even chocolate because there is no cocoa in it. Are you aware that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration doesn't consider white chocolate to be chocolate at all? Yeah white chocolate is for p*ssies) They were all kinds of sinful. Just thinking about them excites me. I'm done talking people because I have to run off and have another cookie in the privacy of my bedroom do the dishes, yeah that's it. Make these, but be ready for them. I suggest a whip and some chains. They play rough.

If you want to have a really good night and are dying to make these cookies you can find the recipe @ Fool for Food. Tell Claudia I love her.

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's orgasmic brownies.

Stay Sweet;)

P.S. Michelle of Bake-en selected Dimply Plum Cake for next weeks recipe. Needless to say don't come 'round these parts expecting that nastiness. Maybe I'll concoct something else...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

TWD-In the great words of Carrie Bradshaw

Me no likey...

Rachel of Confessions of a Tangerine Tart chose Chocolate Malted Whopper Drops, and I valiantly attempted his weeks TWD recipe despite my dislike for whoppers and malt in general. I know, utter madness. Stop me before I hurt someone, or myself. I also used peanut butter whoppers since me and PB are BFF now. I think that was the wisest decision I made because the slight detection of PB in this cookie is the only reason I didn't vom.

After last weeks peanut butter breakthrough I felt bold and daring. I felt like the baking diva of yesteryear! Who knows? Maybe I would discover my favorite new cookie! MAYBE I WOULD BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO TAKING OVER THE WORLD WITH MY MAD BAKING SKILLZ PEOPLE! Unfortunately neither one of these phenomenons transpired. These cookies are weird, and chewy, and cake like. The malt flavor is very pronounced and sorta made me want to gag. Truth be told, that picture you see down there with the bite it...yeah, that one. I spit it out.

Straight out of oven these are really gross. The malt is like a crazy punch in the face. After they cool they are still gross, but you dont feel the sudden desperate urge to puke if you take a bite.

If you like malt flavored goodies you may like these (or if your taste buds are broken).

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's yummy *barf* cookies.

You can find the recipe @ Confessions of a Tangerine Tart for all of the daring souls out there.

Stay Sweet;)

UPDATE: After reading several blogs that made these same cookies and hearing them ooohhh and aaahhhh that they tasted like brownies I grew perplexed. Are these people crazy? Are everyone's taste buds broken? With much despair I headed over to the host's blog and realized that I left out an ingredient (this is why you should only bake when you are coherent and not at 11:00pm when you are sleep walking in the kitchen). I left out the cocoa powder! I wonder if that is why the malt taste was so pronounced? Maybe if I added the cocoa powder I would have loved them? Anywho I hold firm to my opinion until I feel brave enough to make them again. Things that make you go hmmm....

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

OK, OK, I know I'm late

My apologies for making you wait such an inordinate amount of time between posts, but I was away (yes again. I know, I'm sorry). These last few days of summer seem to be flying by, and I barely have time to shave my legs before the next recipe is up on everyone's blog. So without further adieu I give you Chunky Peanut Butter and Oatmeal Chocolate Chipsters (or crack cookies, which is what i'm calling them from now on, because these suckers are dangerously addictive).

This weeks recipe was chosen by Stefany from Proceed With Caution, and Stefany my dear you are a goddess for this pick. I briefly considered not making them (i am being measured for my straitjacket as we speak) due to the fact that I am not a huge peanut butter fan (an understatement considering just the smell makes me want to vomit; no i dont like chocolate peanut butter cups either), but thank the heavens for Operation Baking GALS! (i'm sending these to the troops) or I would never have attempted these.

These cookies are sinful. One bite of these will have all sorts of profanities spewing forth from your delicate lips. I, in good conscience, would not be able to eat one of these in front of my grandma because I might get my teeth knocked out (grandma don't play she will back hand me, and leave me with a broken lip and no teeth). These cookies are so #@$%^&* good that you will offer sexual favors in return for them. No joke. And the cookie dough...OH.MY.GOD dont get me started on this satanic cookie dough. The cookie dough in itself is a feast of flavors and textures that just have your mind wondering into the most wicked places...Lets just say these cookies are your one way ticket to hell. Make them now. You'll be in good company...I promise;)

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's crack cookies.

You can find the recipe here @ Proceed With Caution.

Stay Sweet;)