YES! YES! OH GOD YES! - Caution NSFW

Pardon me while I change my panties, and have a moment to myself. My knees are still shaking. Oh God these cookies...These gloriously decadent, wonderfully wicked cookies.

These FREAKING COOKIES ARE A FULL BODY "O" WAITING TO HAPPEN PEOPLE!

This week's Tuesdays with Dorie (TWD) recipe was chosen by Claudia of Fool for Food. Claudia, there are no words to express my gratitude and undying love behind this recipe choice. They may not be the prettiest cookie, but they damn sure are the best. Dorie you may just get your name on my left ass cheek yet.

I swear I felt lightheaded, and had to hold on to my kitchen counter after the first bite for fear that my knees would buckle. These cookies seduce you so thoroughly that if they had a penis I would give them my butt cherry (if I hadn't already given it to someone else of course, but that is another story for another type of blog).

I must warn you though. This cookie is not for those of you who pussyfoot around chocolate. This cookie is for the hardcore chocolate slut like myself. If you are into cutesy, sweet cookies then run along honey. This shit right here is for the big girls. Now leave us to our business...


First and foremost I have no idea why Dorie is calling them cookies when they could very well be one of the best brownies I've ever had. So going forward I am calling them brownies; brownie pops actually because I put them on cute sticks to try to make up for the fact they are not the most aesthetically pleasing cookie I've ever seen. They have so much going on that I really didn't expect to like them. I'm a chocolate purist and I enjoy my chocolate desserts without all the bells and whistles of additional distractions such as chunks and nuts and fruit, but these bad boys sent me over the edge. I omitted the raisins (bleah), and added pecans and used mini M&M's and semi-sweet chocolate chips instead of white chocolate chips(white chocolate is such a cop out. Either you like chocolate or you don't. Technically white chocolate isn't even chocolate because there is no cocoa in it. Are you aware that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration doesn't consider white chocolate to be chocolate at all? Yeah white chocolate is for p*ssies) They were all kinds of sinful. Just thinking about them excites me. I'm done talking people because I have to run off and have another cookie in the privacy of my bedroom do the dishes, yeah that's it. Make these, but be ready for them. I suggest a whip and some chains. They play rough.

If you want to have a really good night and are dying to make these cookies you can find the recipe @ Fool for Food. Tell Claudia I love her.

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's orgasmic brownies.


XOXO
Stay Sweet;)



P.S. Michelle of Bake-en selected Dimply Plum Cake for next weeks recipe. Needless to say don't come 'round these parts expecting that nastiness. Maybe I'll concoct something else...

TWD-In the great words of Carrie Bradshaw

Me no likey...

Rachel of Confessions of a Tangerine Tart chose Chocolate Malted Whopper Drops, and I valiantly attempted his weeks TWD recipe despite my dislike for whoppers and malt in general. I know, utter madness. Stop me before I hurt someone, or myself. I also used peanut butter whoppers since me and PB are BFF now. I think that was the wisest decision I made because the slight detection of PB in this cookie is the only reason I didn't vom.

After last weeks peanut butter breakthrough I felt bold and daring. I felt like the baking diva of yesteryear! Who knows? Maybe I would discover my favorite new cookie! MAYBE I WOULD BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO TAKING OVER THE WORLD WITH MY MAD BAKING SKILLZ PEOPLE! Unfortunately neither one of these phenomenons transpired. These cookies are weird, and chewy, and cake like. The malt flavor is very pronounced and sorta made me want to gag. Truth be told, that picture you see down there with the bite it...yeah, that one. I spit it out.

Straight out of oven these are really gross. The malt is like a crazy punch in the face. After they cool they are still gross, but you dont feel the sudden desperate urge to puke if you take a bite.

If you like malt flavored goodies you may like these (or if your taste buds are broken).

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's yummy *barf* cookies.

You can find the recipe @ Confessions of a Tangerine Tart for all of the daring souls out there.

XOXO
Stay Sweet;)



UPDATE: After reading several blogs that made these same cookies and hearing them ooohhh and aaahhhh that they tasted like brownies I grew perplexed. Are these people crazy? Are everyone's taste buds broken? With much despair I headed over to the host's blog and realized that I left out an ingredient (this is why you should only bake when you are coherent and not at 11:00pm when you are sleep walking in the kitchen). I left out the cocoa powder! I wonder if that is why the malt taste was so pronounced? Maybe if I added the cocoa powder I would have loved them? Anywho I hold firm to my opinion until I feel brave enough to make them again. Things that make you go hmmm....

OK, OK, I know I'm late

My apologies for making you wait such an inordinate amount of time between posts, but I was away (yes again. I know, I'm sorry). These last few days of summer seem to be flying by, and I barely have time to shave my legs before the next recipe is up on everyone's blog. So without further adieu I give you Chunky Peanut Butter and Oatmeal Chocolate Chipsters (or crack cookies, which is what i'm calling them from now on, because these suckers are dangerously addictive).

This weeks recipe was chosen by Stefany from Proceed With Caution, and Stefany my dear you are a goddess for this pick. I briefly considered not making them (i am being measured for my straitjacket as we speak) due to the fact that I am not a huge peanut butter fan (an understatement considering just the smell makes me want to vomit; no i dont like chocolate peanut butter cups either), but thank the heavens for Operation Baking GALS! (i'm sending these to the troops) or I would never have attempted these.

These cookies are sinful. One bite of these will have all sorts of profanities spewing forth from your delicate lips. I, in good conscience, would not be able to eat one of these in front of my grandma because I might get my teeth knocked out (grandma don't play she will back hand me, and leave me with a broken lip and no teeth). These cookies are so #@$%^&* good that you will offer sexual favors in return for them. No joke. And the cookie dough...OH.MY.GOD dont get me started on this satanic cookie dough. The cookie dough in itself is a feast of flavors and textures that just have your mind wondering into the most wicked places...Lets just say these cookies are your one way ticket to hell. Make them now. You'll be in good company...I promise;)

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's crack cookies.

You can find the recipe here @ Proceed With Caution.

XOXO
Stay Sweet;)

I know i've been a TWD slacker

but I was on vacation, and now I'm sick as a dog (seriously I feel like I have broken glass in my throat), but I promise I will be back in action next week.



XOXO
Stay Sweet;)

The most delicious thing in my life...

My Dearest Love,

Words cannot adequately convey how amazing this past year has been. To be blessed with the love of the most amazing man I have ever known is a miracle in itself, and if I were to spend a million nights dreaming of the perfect man he would still fall short when compared to you. I love you completely and unconditionally. I love everything about you, and you are everything that I never knew existed in life and love. I love you for the person that I have become by simply having been privileged enough to know you. I love the way you love me for all that I am, and all that I am not. You love me in every way imaginable and your love far surpasses imagination. My husband; My best friend; My soul mate; My love...who when I ask if I look thinner after being on a diet 5 minutes always says "yes, but you were perfect before"; who tells me I'm beautiful when my hair is practically an afro and I have a full force breakout going on; who acts like getting up in the morning before 10 am is the most traumatizing experience in the world; who will let me fall asleep on his shoulder night after night even though his arm always falls asleep and gets a cramp; who will always pick up at least one box of mac n cheese from the supermarket for me even though there are 3 in the cabinet because he knows how much I love it; who genuinely cares about my family and never complains when we visit them even though they are the loudest, most dysfunctional people you could ever met; who when he hasn't shaven and has a 3 day old beard makes my heart pound so hard and quick that I will forget my name just by looking at him; who I could heat up a TV dinner for and he'll thank me and sing me praises as if I just served him a 4 course meal, and he isn't being sarcastic he is sincerely appreciative and grateful; who GOD FORBID doesn't wear socks to bed at night; who has a collection of 1362245984 t-shirts who's ages ranges from 1 month to 15 years old; My husband whose amazing green eyes pierce my soul and when he looks at me they are filled with such emotion that I almost forget to breathe; My husband, My best friend, My soul mate, How I adore you.

Happy 1 year anniversary baby, and thank you for the most incredible year of my life!

Forever yours,

Laura

Sometimes what seems like a fabulous idea...

turns out to be a nightmare for your taste buds, and so goes the story of the black and white banana loaf chosen by Ashlee of A Year In The Kitchen. Now I have to be honest and say I may have played a minuscule role in the grossness of this recipe (ok fine, I really crapped it up), but some things in life should not be tampered with and that is a strict rule I adhere to for chocolate.

This recipe was destined for disaster, as soon as my tired ass attempted to make it half asleep at 12:00 AM. Don't judge me. I know you are thinking "well that is what happens when you procrastinate", but really I wasn't (this time). I've been running around like a mad man all week because I leave for vacation on Friday, and seriously haven't had a free moment of time (ok, ok so maybe I procrastinated in other areas which in turn affected my TWD timing, but whateva, whateva, you're not the boss of me).

The first step to this disaster is that I attempted to halve this recipe while delirious from sleep. That is never a good thing, as my being exhausted is equivalent to a drunk being passed out on the bathroom floor. Attempting anything coherent in this state is borderline suicidal. The halved recipe called for 1.5 oz of chocolate, but I was too tired to take out my kitchen scale so I eyeballed it. Yeah I know, shut up. Apparently my eyeballing skills aren't as accurate as I believed them to be, but we'll come back to that later.

The next part of this disaster is that in my tired stupor I forgot I was halving the recipe and plopped the entire amount of butter that a full recipe called for in the mixer, and started adding the remaining halved ingredients blind to the fact that they were drowning in butter. I prepared to assemble my black and white loaf, and taste both the regular banana bread batter as well as the chocolate banana bread batter. The traditional banana bread batter was fabulous! Even though the grease from the butter was pooled around the edges and in the middle. The chocolate banana batter on the other hand was all kinds of nasty. The banana flavor in the background of the chocolate nearly made me gag it was so gross. Chocolate should not be tampered with people. This was borderline sacrilege, but I persevered hoping it would be better after it was baked.

I marble the layers together and place my mini loaf pans in the oven, and after about 30 minutes I hear something akin to frying. I run to the kitchen to check on my loafs and realize that the loafs are actually frying in butter, and I suddenly come to the realization "crap I added the full stick of butter".

Fast forward to taking them out of the oven and cooling them. Under the cooling rack is a pool of grease that could have drowned a kitten. I carefully cut into the loaf and butter literally seeps out of the slice. The entire loaf is so saturated with butter that it is wet and dripping. *GAG*

*Please note the loafs squishy consistency, not the least bit sexy*

I tentatively take a bite, and choke and cough. Ewww not only did a pool of butter trickle into my mouth, but the chocolate banana marble completely over powered the traditional banana loaf and it was NASTY. Once again I say CHOCOLATE SHOULD NOT BE TAMPERED WITH PEOPLE! I think the chocolate in this recipe ruined it. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I may have added more chocolate than required, but still. Chocolate+banana=barf fest.

Also I made a discovery while making this loaf. I didnt have ripe bananas so I used gerber baby food bananas, and I think the traditional loaf would have been fabulous if it wasnt for the chocolate marble. I think i'm going to use that for my banana treats from now on.

Be sure to check out the Tuesdays with Dorie blogroll to see everyone else's barf loafs.

You can find the recipe here @ A Year In The Kitchen.

XOXO
Stay Sweet;)

Operation Baking GALS: Assignment #1

COMPLETED!

Susan of She's becoming doughmesstic sent out an S.O.S. to the blog world when her cousin who is stationed in Iraq mentioned that he and his comrades were in desperate need of a little home baked goodness. Well word spread like wild fire, and I am proud to say that what started out as a few fellow bloggers has grown into quite the baking brigade! In fact there were so many people interested in lending a hand that it is now an official baking group! Each month the serviceman selected will receive the boxes of goodies, and then divide them up between their unit.

Remember we can all do our part for a worthy cause, so pick up your whisks and start baking!

My first shipment was 4 dozen brownie buttons. Don't they look patriotic?!

You can find the rest of the crew that participated in the first assignment here She's becoming doughmesstic and if you would like any information on how you can do your part just visit Operation Baking GALS!

The recipe I used was my favorite brownie recipe which can be found here

XOXO
Stay Sweet;)